i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
