i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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