his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
