he looks like a really good dad on facebook
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
