i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
