@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
