I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
