I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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