I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
