it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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