Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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