My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
