physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
