Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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