The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's never too late to be topless.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
is it fun? or sober?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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