And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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