That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
