Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
