dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Drake has all the answers
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
