if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
