Cold hands, warm shart.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
