Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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