oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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