How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
