My brain says no but my pants say off.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
