to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
