Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
