He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize