i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize