Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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