i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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