I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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