Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she looked like the before picture.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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