and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
