Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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