You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
