I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
my liver is dry heaving
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
