my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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