very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
