Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
