Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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