you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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