How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
