You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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