well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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