Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
