i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
