HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
