I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize