How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
