Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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