I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
