i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
