Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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