I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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