So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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