In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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