were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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