think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
