There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
