I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize