Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
