Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize