Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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