I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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