I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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