Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize